Confession time…

OK, clearly it’s been a while since I posted. Like over a month. 😦

I had a great cruise over Presidents’ Week. The pictures are here (I think that should work). It was great to get away and into some warmer weather. And to spend time with my sister. That was the best part, really.

In other stuff… Well… Yeah.

Training has continued to be less than stellar. My goal for Cherry Blossom has gone from “new PR” to “finish without being swept”. 😦

I don’t know where my motivation has gone. Overall, I still enjoy my runs – the long ones anyway…but clearly not enough to motivate me to do all of my scheduled ones. I haven’t been to club in ages.

Work is work. Some things I’m doing well with at school, other things not as well (though not as bad as I used to I think).

The store is…blah. I love Disney…but so much is changing. I just want to try and hold on through at least the summer.

So much is just…blah. Nothing desperate. Nothing extreme. So no one needs to worry about me doing anything crazy. Promise.

Looking at things, I do think I have a tendency to be afraid to succeed. I know it happens in school. And I’m thinking that it may be happening in running. And weight. (Yeah…weight has slowly crept back up – I’m still in “One-derland” but barely.) And other stuff as well I think.

And so I’ve made a decision that I can half-jokingly say will make me a full-fledged New Yorker…

I’ve made an appointment with a therapist. I go for the first time next Wednesday night after Bible Study (which I’ve skipped tonight…had to get a run in).

I have a good feeling about it. First, she hadn’t popped up on a ZocDoc search with my insurance before (yes, I’ve considered…I just haven’t made the move of making an appointment yet…mainly because none of the options I found felt right). Second, her hours are evening ones, and it looks like she may have a “standard” opening on Wednesday nights, which would be perfect. Third, she says in her bio that she doesn’t necessarily think therapy has to be indefinitely long-term, which is a bonus. And then the clincher? She has headed up the NYC Marathon Psyching Team and has run 10 marathons. So there’s a common language from that standpoint.

Clearly next week will be a feeling-out session, and I’m not locked in, but it seems hopeful.

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